Wonderland Collection
by Nuttycheychey
Summary: Random drabbles that come to my mind while I'm bored. May turn into a cross over depending on the future. TxA OcxOc Rating my change later.
1. Tarrant's Birthday

Alice, Thackery, and Mally had planned to surprise Tarrant today - it was his birthday you see and all wanted to do something special for him.

Thackery baked Tarrant's favorite treats, Marzipan, Napoleons, Squimberry Tarts, Battenberg, and a cake. And Alice and Mally were in charge of frosting and decorating the cake. Johanna and Chess had both agreed to take Tarrant on a small trip to the Outlands to visit a few friends, providing the three of them with more time to surprise him.

Alice ran her finger along some of the icing in one of the small bowls and raised that finger to her lips.

"Donna yeh dare lil lassie!" Thackery shouted from the other side of the kitchen as he threw a metal spoon at her head. Alice just barely managed to dodge the projectile.

"Alright Thackery, I get the idea! No eating the frosting! But we have plenty of it! I'm sure that the cake is nine parts icing and one part cake by now!"

"The cake will eat it then there will be more cake than frosting!" Thackery cackled. Alice shook her head.

"Sometimes I wonder why I even try to understand you Thackery Earwhicket." Alice mumbled.

"Mumbler!" Thackery shouted in a shrill voice and threw a tea cup at the far wall.

"Hey Thackery!" The March Hare Turned around to face her, eyes practically bugging out of his face. "Stuff it!" Alice challenged.

"Mutiny, rebellion, resistance, disobedience, Traitor!" Thackery shouted as he jumped onto the only empty table, brandishing a metal spatula like a sword, "En Guard!" he shouted.

"Finally some fun!" Alice shouted as she climbed onto the table, the metal spatula Thackery had thrown in her hand much the same manner as Thackery, "I accept your challenge Mousier Thackery!" Alice said and bowed with a flourish of her free hand.

"Take yehr form!" Thackery cackled as he got into a sword stance. Alice went straight into the position she'd many a time seen Tarrant stand in while he practiced with Alick and the other knights at the castle.

Thackery charged at her laughing like a mad man- er rabbit. Alice deflected his strike at her middle, laughing herself at their antics in the kitchen.

Mally -who's been asleep up to now - woke with a start when she heard the metal clanking together. She stood up and immediately began cheering and jeering the two of them.

"Zounder Alice! Zounder!" She cried when Thackery went between her legs and behind her.

One would normally presume that Alice had the advantage here due to her height but that was not the case. Thackery knew how to use his small size to advantage and never missed an opportunity to catch Alice off guard.

At last Mally grew tired of the game and began yelling at them to knock it off so they could finish the treats; neither of them listened to her. In frustration Mally began flinging the extra icing at the two.

Frosting was now all over Thackery's ears and clothes, it was caked in Alice's hair, it stained her dress, and covered her arms. Despite the odd situation Alice and Thackery continued to circle each other.

Thackery struck out at Alice, she backed up to deflect him, her shoeless foot slipped on some of the icing and down she went, the spoon went flying and landed a few feet from Mally.

Not one to easily give up, Alice picked up some of the frosting and smeared it all over Thackery's face as he'd held his spatula high as if to deliver and final blow. Thackery paused, shocked, then made an odd, strangled scream-like sound and picked up a big clump of icing to throw at the now sitting up Alice. She easily dodged and the icing went flying right at Mally. Before any of them knew it, frosting was flying every where and the sounds of laughter and giggling had filled the kitchen. The frosting was all over the kitchen utensils, walls, even the ceiling! And of course, the people inside were absolutely covered in the sweet substance.

Alice fell to the marble floor, clutching her sides and trying to stop the laughing fit that had attacked her. Thackery laughed so hard he fell off the table and onto the floor on his butt. Mally laughed and staggered as if drunk toward Alice and collapsed next to her barefoot.

The three of them were so busy laughing none of them noticed the door opening.

Tarrant Hightopp walked into the room and gaped at the site in front of him. He smirked and tried hard to hold back his gales of mad giggles.

"I'm gone for a few hours and you three make a disaster out of our kitchen!" The three of them looked at him still laughing before they all looked at each other and back to Tarrant.

"Stuff it!" They yelled before throwing handfuls of icing at him. Needless to say another battle ensued between the four of them.

As Thackery and Mally delighted in throwing sugar cubes at each other Alice pulled Tarrant aside into the other room.

"Happy Birthday Love." Alice said and kissed him. Tarrant pulled back and smiled against her lips.

"You know Alice, I learned three things today. One, Frosting tastes better on you than cake. Two, never let Johanna talk you into taking a short cut to Fairwhen. And Number Three, the most important one, never trust you, Mally, and Thackery with Icing and Frosting!" Tarrant and Alice laughed merrily before going back into the kitchen, hand in hand, to break up the fight between Thackery and Mally.

Then a thought came to Tarrant. "If frosting tasted good on Alice Lips, where else would it taste good on his Sweetling?" Guess he'd just have to find out later that night. It was after all his birthday.

**AN: First of many bored drabbles. Any one want to draw a picture of this scene, please let me know first. Any one want to do a lemon/smut for the frosting(*Cough cough!* Lydia! *Cough cough!*), please let me know!**

**(I should likely explain that "Cough cough" Any one can do it if they like but I'm just picking on FairFarrenLovelyLydia. I love you girl!)**

**Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!**


	2. Cousins

Johanna was half-asleep by the time she sat down on the couch. She slouched in the un-lady matter all had come to expect of her by now. Her eyes were closed and her breathing was labored.

In the corner Illosovic Stayne smirked at the sight of her. She was disheveled, tired, and rather vulnerable. However as part of his earned freedom the White Queen had made him make the unbreakable vow not to kill or cause harm to another in any way.

However that wouldn't stop his roaming eye in raking her well-developed and feminine form.

Alick entered the room and looked disapprovingly at his cousin. He walked over to him and grabbed his shoulder in a tight grip.

"You are a guest in my home. I'll not have you having any of your vile thoughts about my wife. You better keep yourself in check!" he warned, ignoring Stayne's chuckles as he walked over to the couch where Johanna sat half-asleep.

"Rough day in the Queen's court my Dear?" He asked as he handed her a small cup of tea.

"Thanks love. Yes, it was horrible today! Lord Fulton came in and was bothering me non-stop for a new flute, he broke it yesterday, Lady Carmella wanted a new song written for her daughter's birthday, Lady Darcy wanted a new harp, George broke his trumpet, Fred lost a string for his guitar, Alfred couldn't find the tympanis tuning key, the grand piano was out of tune, one of the clarinets dropped her instrument and broke the keys, Max broke his reed and forgot to bring another one, Samuel knocked over _all_ the drums, Tarrant needed help in his workshop today, and the Queen needed a translator to help her while establishing trade with Outlanders." Johanna rambled. Alick smiled as she sipped her tea.

"Perhaps I should tell them they can't have you anymore. They're wearing you out faster than your little niece does when you baby sit her." Alick said. Johanna smiled as she finished her tea and set the cup aside.

"Thank you Alick. And yes, it's hard enough baby sitting an active four year old, but all this is too much at the moment!" Johanna released a heavy sigh and fell back, her head resting in Alick's lap, her hair flowing out like a red, gold, and orange halo. This old habit of her's was started when they were first married. Alick didn't mind much, he rather liked it sometimes.

"You need some sleep my Love." he murmured as he stroked her head, hair, and occasionally her face. Johanna silently agreed and within minutes she was fast asleep.

"She really is a beautiful girl despite her lack of size." Stayne said interrupting Alick's silent thoughts. Alick looked up at him ready to snap at him until he realized it was a compliment. He looked back to his wife and smiled gently.

"She rather is. It's amazing what a few years can do to people." Alick said as he wrapped one of her numerous curls around his finger.

"I always did have a fondness for girls with curls. It was a fetish of sorts, one I developed after seeing her by the waterfall many years ago. I still think she could have done better with me. Then again she always was a girl who made bad choices. Then again it's never too late to rectify that!" That was it! Stayne had taken it too far!

"If you want to keep your remaining eye you will _never_ speak of my wife that way ever again!" he snapped, "You are a guest in my home and I expect you to show proper respect to my wife. If you so much as lay a finger on her I'll kill you! Understood?" Alick nearly yelled, Johanna began to stir from her slumber, he returned to stroking her face, this had the effect of helping her remain asleep and calming down Alick.

For Alick, having his cousin here (if only for a few days) was quite unnerving, the only reassurance he had was the fact that in a few days his cousin would be returning to his newly rebuilt home in Snud, far away from them in Marmoreal. But every day Alick feared that if he left Johanna alone and unprotected with him, he would cause her harm. So he insisted on either coming home before her, or at the same time as her.

At least he wouldn't have to endure his cousin for much longer!

Stayne sat quietly, looking at the dark liquid in his coffee cup. Alick sat tensely staring at the flames of the crackling fire.

"I'm sorry Alick. I guess I'm just jealous that your life turned out so much better than mine did. And that you have a beautiful wife, nice house, and great job at the castle. My life ended badly on my way to having those things. I envy you cousin." Stayne finally said after the long silence.

Alick was stunned, his elder cousin was _jealous _of _him? This had to be some sort of joke._

"_I do apologize for offending you and insulting your wife so."_

"_Well perhaps my cousin speaks the truth. However, only time will be able to tell." Alick thought to himself._


End file.
